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The current period signifies a full decade since the term “disappearing” entered the public consciousness. Initially, the notion that someone could instantly end all contact with a romantic interest without a word seemed like the peak of disrespect. We were so innocent. In the ten-year span since, seeking a significant other has only become more confounding – an oftentimes pointless exercise in humiliation that is increasingly pigeonholed by social media slang.

Zoomers, a generation who matured during a loneliness crisis, a male identity reckoning, and a coordinated challenge on the freedoms of females and the queer community, faces a far messier terrain than their Gen Y forerunners could ever envision. And so their dating glossary has grown more extensive and more bizarre, with terms like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” pushing the boundaries of your sanity.

What follows is a comprehensive glossary to the words Zoomers is using to navigate love, intimacy and the search of both. To echo one of the year’s most popular online sayings, by the end of this list you’ll long to get back to simpler times – because where that is, it is free from “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Genuineness – According to gen Z, romance's ideal is showing up as your real, raw self. Good luck with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A TikTok trend connected to a test developed by couples researchers, in which you point out something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your date's reply is engaged or dismissive. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Mysterious girlfriend – Zoomers' answer to the “manic pixie dream girl” trope of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while radiating enigma and independence. (She might still have baby bangs.)

C

Chair theory – This means seeking out someone who aids you proactively. If you entered a room, they would fetch a seat for you to take a load off.

Task-based bonding – A meet-up where two people connect while running errands, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how broke twentysomethings do budget-friendly dating in a inflation-era world.

Crashing out – Having a breakdown when you feel swamped by life. You can spiral over a infatuation or split, venting all of your unreciprocated feelings.

D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a marker of 1980s young urban professional affluence, it refers to partners who forgo having children to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Vulnerable signaling – The antithesis of being guarded: practicing communication, honesty and openness.

F

Indicators

• Warning signs – Behavioral quirks indicating a potential partner is not right. For instance calling their former partners crazy, poor tipping habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a new DJ career …
• Good indicators – These traits confirm your decision to date a mate. For instance following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, low phone use, owning a bed frame …
• Odd but harmless traits – These typically describe niche, largely inoffensive quirks. Such as being an keen birdwatcher, still keeping a pen in their bag, paying the rent in physical money …

Niche bonding – When you connect with someone who’s just as passionate about films about the second world war or DVD collecting or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who despises the same stuff or individuals that you do (few things creates intimacy faster than sharing a nemesis).

The Letter G

Geese – A musical group many young men listens to.

Zombie-ing – Someone who reappears into your life after a period of disappearing.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and loyal. The uncommon boyfriend who is liked by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Gooners – A primarily online community of men so obsessed with masturbation that they attempt lengthy sessions, purposefully delaying climax so they can continue as long as possible.

H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A trend describing many women's increasing cynicism toward straight relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Manosphere archetype – An stereotype touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and contentedly domestic, who apparently has no goals of her own aside from satisfying her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to understand the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Turn-offs – Arbitrary and frequently trivial dealbreakers that instantly extinguish any feelings of attraction.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an incredibly sweet act.

J

Jobs – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ultimate catch: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd prefer partners in professions they believe are being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: healthcare workers, educators or counselors.

K

Locking lips – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has existed for 16m years. But the era of kissing may be numbered since some Zoomers prefer fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen romance believable.

Kittenfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {