Evening Hosts Target Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Residency Scheme

TV's prominent comedians spent their airtime mocking President Donald Trump's just announced visa initiative, labeled the "Trump card," portraying it as a blatant pay-to-play arrangement for the affluent.

The Late Show's Sarcastic Spin

Kicking off his program, Stephen Colbert presented a satirical Christmas jingle targeting the commander-in-chief. "He is making a list, reviewing it twice, and then handing that list to the officials at ICE," he intoned. "The President ... ruins all he touches."

The subject was the new plan that permits foreign nationals to purchase U.S. residency for an investment of a million dollars, or "top-tier" version for 5 million. A government page pledges approval "with unprecedented speed."

"One note for you to wealthy applicants: prior to you pony up, what about Canada?" Colbert quipped.

He pointed out that the scheme is also meant to "squeeze cash" from businesses wanting to hire foreign workers, involving significant costs. "That's a lot of fees, but if you sign up, you also get a complimentary stay at a property of your selection – if it's the that one hotel," he added.

"Unprecedented background check the government has before done," stated Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to ensure these applicants truly are eligible to be in America."

"That is important, you gotta prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert said dryly. "First question: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Scathing Critique

On his own program, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the initiative the "Get Into America Express Card."

"Here's a card that will allow affluent international individuals to live here," he said. "For a million dollars, you get official resident status, you get a route to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one major crime of your choice."

"Perhaps it's time to update that message on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your poor masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked.

Kimmel lampooned the lack of detail of the form, saying it is "harder to start a Wordle account." He said that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare."

"That's right, the top people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "It's what Jesus constantly said! It's in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you give the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers discussing Grocery Issues

On another network, Seth Meyers turned to Trump's slipping approval ratings during economic worries. "The public gave Donald Trump a second term because they were angry about the economy," he noted.

Recently, in a attempt to address affordability, Trump held a briefing in front of a array of food items, and behaved strangely to boxes of cereal.

"What a nice job, I think I'm going to take some of them with me to my home and have a lot of fun," Trump stated. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a long time."

"Trump is so extremely weird," Meyers said. "Like, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?"

Meyers concluded by targeting conservative news coverage of Trump's financial record. "Maybe instead of complaining, you should give him a shiny trophy similar to what FIFA did," he laughed.